So It's Saturday, whoopie! Happy Saturday, My parents are home, they found land and a house, in Florida, and its going to be damn near a year before they finally move but they're going to be moving, so that means I gotta find a place within the time they are looking for a place... and that I gotta start saving some money... So that's that... They just got home a lil while ago, and I called to see if they made it in yet, so anyways, its friggen cold today, its been one of them crazy ass days already this morning, being woken up at 5 o'clock and leaving to go to work, thank god for caffeine though, I don't know what I would do with out it, cuz I'd be dead right now, but here I am jittery as can be for a saturday morning, just had my usual bagle and coffee deal I go to dunkin donuts right next door, every saturday, because, they're cheaper than most DD, plus there's this girl who works there, she's prolly a little younger than me, and she looks like shes of some sort of spanish descent, probably mexican, cuz shes got the cutest eyes, and shes got her lip peirced and i just want to get her number one day, and ask her if she'd like to go out, cuz shes so damn cute... but I cant gather up the nerve to ask her, god knows how old she is too... I wouldnt wanna be hittin on no 16 yr old... i mean if shes like 19/20 thats dope... but i dont know.... anyways enough of that, I've been so busy lately its like unreal, yesterday i spent the day, cleaning up a million and 1 things around the house but oh well soon enough I will be doing it in my own house, and cleaning up after myself... at least I wont have any animals to clean up after, or feed... and I wont have to clean up after my brother... Sometimes growing up can be weird, I want to move out and get my life started but its just gonna be so weird... I'm not sure I wanna even live with my girl friend... I mean... I don't know, I know how she'll be about shit... and plus that like totally destroys my private life, my house, when im alone is like my sanctuary or something, its my own place to get away from having her breathing down my neck, watching my every move... thus the reason why i have this blog... I know its going to be a matter of time, before i just flip out and tell her I want out... I know it is... I don't know how much more I can take... I want a vacation, from LIFE IN GENERAL! ID RATHER WORK 24 Hours a day... that would be a vacation... don't pay me, I'll just stay here I want to get away from people, ok, Im going to rant for a few minutes at why she, and her family make me so fucking mad... first off, she will constantly ask me the same fuckin questions over and over again... it drives me nuts, she completely relies on me to do things for her which she should be doing on her own, although i have opted to at times (I.E. Her history Homework) WE totally disagree on any type of movie to watch or anything like that... we cannot listen to the same music in the car, as she thinks BOY BANDS Are Gods gift to the world, ok, now to her Brother, I love her brother, but he's 26 years old and HAS NO DIRECTION IN LIFE... HE HAS A TEACHING DEGREE BUT OPTS TO SIT ON HIS ASS AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY LONG... When his girlfriend comes over, he doesnt even answer the door for her, he makes other people answer the door, because he cant pull his lazy ass off the chair away from the playstation... his own mother still pays his car insurance and he lives at home, his last g/f broke up with him for the same reason of playing video games all the time... hes very lazy, and makes his sister do everything, if i were his mother i would have kicked him out a long time ago... he cant even get up to answer the door to let me in... citing, "He doesnt HEAR THE DOOR BELL" My Ears Continually ring from years of loud Rock Concerts and I can hear when the door bell rings from outside the house, so give me a break... 26 years old... He quit his job thinking he was going to get a better one but didnt, now he's unemployed, living off his mother, its fucking hilarious, I wish my parents would pay one month of my car insurance, opposed to his mother paying his whole years bill, not to mention his mother doesnt make that much as it is and still pays for his shit... he doesnt know how lucky hes got it... Her Mother Makes me Madd cuz shes so fuckin anal about everything, if a door is open in the house, like the door to the basement, she flips out, if someone steams up the bathroom after taking a shower she gets pissed if someone cooks in the house she complains about the smell the cooking made... she makes her daughter do everything holding little regard for the fact that her more than able bodied brother is locked downstairs playin video games, truthfully she needs to chill but thats just me... her father, is far from sane too, citing the fact that he's in debt above his ears and doesnt have a real job anymore, aside from working as a "Business man" Selling Modular homes and shit... I dont know man... some times people just piss mee off and I've gotta rant... I just have to rant... anyways... The days going along well... so far, pretty quiet which is nice... only a few more hours left in the day I'm going to call the motorcycle shop a little later today and try and talk to the guy about this bike im possibly interested in buying... so we'll see what he says about that... aside from that nothing new is really happening, just kinda chillin out here at work, can't wait to get out of here and relax for a lil while though, but unfortunately that will be short lived cuz we have to go and babysit my girlfriends cousins tonight, wonderful a screaming 4th grader and a sixth grader to deal with tonight for 6 hours I love it... When i get out of there tommarow, i think ill go to the bar and slam a couple shots back to chill out... haha... So anyways... I guess im in a ranting mood today but thats just me I just wanna dissappear for a few days, go relax meet some interesting people, and get away from the norm! get out of this town, get out of this life for a few days... thats what i need a reality trip, a trip away from everyone and everything!! AAAAHHHH!!! haahahaha! I'm a lunatic... I know... Sheesh... I dont know man... Just wanna drive away... to Texas, haha... Well I guess I'm going to get going, I got some stuff to do here... I'll be back later--LAtERZZZZ!!!

MaTt®

P.S. The Following Lyrics have been very influential to me and seem to reflect a lot on one of my past relationships.

I close my eyes
Thought I was lost but I was stranded
I go outside
To my surprise the sky had landed
I thought it made more sense
If I could only keep you guessing
I was a fool to think
That I should stop you from undressing
Now I'm believing all the words you say
That I can't say back to you
To you

So I fall
I don't want to feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And I'll just fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I fall

I kiss your neck
I feel you breathing on my shoulder
Still I'm perfect
It must be you cause now it's over
I was so close
That was the most that I have ever been through
Now old cassettes and cigarettes
Will be the ones to save you
How can you ask for me to stay
When all you ever do is go?
Just go

So I fall
I don't wanna feel this small
You know I just can't handle this 
Handle this at all
So I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
wonder when I 

Go on
You've kept me waiting
Go on
And watch me as I fall
I don't want to feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And so I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I